sehatu sehatu sleep

Bring it on, Life, But Only If I am Rested and Relaxed!

I have had some interesting experiences this summer. It has been a busy, exciting, disturbing, hectic, troubling and inspiring summer. I went skydiving (for the third time) with my wife and son. Exciting. Our son was in a car accident, totaling the long time family vehicle. Scary. Our long time dearly loved family dog of ten years died abruptly. Disturbing. You probably get an idea of the wide variety of these experiences. You may identify with some of them too.

Rather than going into the minor details, my goal is to point out how experiences shape our lives. What life throws our way is not in our control. How hot the weather will be today or how bad the traffic will be on the way home from work are things beyond our individual control.

How we deal with what is thrown our way is critical. It also depends on what frame of mind we are in. Well rested, emotionally secure people will be able to deal with a lot of stressful events and deal with them differently than others. Suffering already from over work and stress, leading to lack of good quality sleep, many of us are left with little emotional capacity to take any more trouble and deal with it adequately.

There are people in this world who have to walk long distances for drinking water and wonder each morning if they will find the one meal for that day. There are people who have been through genocides, massacres, famines, floods, epidemics and all kinds of mass miseries inflicted on them by other people and by nature. Are they all emotionally exhausted, mentally paralyzed, unable to function, survive, move forward and build their lives? May be some, but not all.

On the other hand, there are people with every imaginable luxury of life, who would give anything to be able to take a nap, like Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston who gave their lives trying to obtain a few moments of forced, chemically induced rest for their minds.

What is the difference? The difference is in genetics, brain wiring, cultures, environment and upbringing. Given all else being equal, those of us who find themselves unable to feel emotionally secure, able to let go, calm their minds, rest and recharge to face the inflictions of everyday life, need to learn these skills. If it does not come naturally, it has to be learnt. Like a child learns to walk naturally, but has to be taught how to ride a bicycle.

It is the job of those who are in the position of helping others, to assist them in this journey. It is also the job of those who are looking for help, grasping for straws, to seek out this help. It is available. It is here. We do it every day at Sehatu Sleep and Yoga Studio.

Go, get it, wherever you can. It will make life better, easier and more fun for all.

 

 

On Life, Death, Health and Sleep

I have had a few enlightening encounters with my patients in the last few weeks. Recently, one of my patient's wife made an intense comment: "He gasps and chokes in sleep. I can't let him die like this! Two of my family members passed away in the last few years and I could not save them. I can't let it happen again!!" This led to a discussion. Another young patient in his 70's said to me today he probably has five to ten more years to live considering how sickly he is. This led to another discussion. A third patient said: "I know I have neglected myself and my family for the last several years. I have been spending all my time at work. I now want to switch my life around."

I just want to share a few of my thoughts from these encounters.

We all know we did not choose whether, when, and where to arrive in this world and won't choose the time of our death either. This fact however gets lost on us while we struggle in our lives to go to school, learn, have jobs and families, in the process developing a false sense of control over ours and our loved ones' lives.

Its not about how long we live. Its how we live. A healthy, useful, long life. A productive, loving life. The duration does count, but the quality does lots more.

While death is certain for every living organism, a realization of this absolute fact makes the job of making the best of every second, minute, hour and day of life even more significant.

Given good health care and a balanced lifestyle, people should be able to live happily way past 100 years. To have a fatalistic attitude towards life as one gets older prevents the person from enjoying every day of life that they still do have.

Its not about choosing between work and family. Its about finding a balance.

We can not hang on to those we love. We have to let go of them in order to love them.

The need to control.... a quality shared by many smart, intellectually gifted people is most often a major factor in them feeling unable to relax, let go, fall and stay asleep. This is a sign of loss of that delicate balance in life that is necessary for health, wellness and happiness.

This is exactly why we need to work hard towards restoring that balance, learning to control and let go, learning to live and die, by retraining our minds.

We need to learn to Relax, Sleep better and Perform at our best, for a healthy, longer, happier, more fulfilling life.

 

 

 

No "Shoulds" Allowed!

 

“Let go of who you think you should be and embrace who you are.” Brene' Brown, The Gift of Imperfection

 
I love this quote. I know it can apply to a multitude of moments in my life. I find it resonates for me on my Yoga mat doing Yoga asana, as well. (Yoga asana is the poses, the physical practice of Yoga)
I shared this quote with those attending our Sunday Yin class at Sehatu Sleep and Yoga Studio. I shared it from that authentic place of knowing, once again, the vulnerability of a physical practice in a Yoga class.  It takes time to put it into context, to get out of our heads. It took me some time to realize that nobody else is looking at me, no one else is evaluating or assessing my practice. They are in their own practice. Wow! Really?
 
Actually there is someone who is evaluating me...my practice...deciding I should be or look a certain way...ME!
 
Over the years, I heard my teachers talk of suffering and how when we venture into the “shoulds” we suffer, we become anxious, we become wound up, we leave our body and we are fully in the grip of our thoughts, our images, our perceptions. We are no longer connected to what is and wishing instead it all be different. We suffer when we want reality to be different. When we think reality should be different. Thank you, teachers. Keep sharing and reminding me. I am my own worst “shoulder”...until I observe it and stop, breath and accept. Embrace.
 
Imagine for a moment how different it might be to fully embrace a moment rather than wish the moment was different, wish we were different in the moment. Ahhh … Freedom. I feel immediate freedom to be in this moment whatever it is when I let go of all the thoughts it should be different, all the thoughts I should be different.
After our class we informally discussed how this can be a wonderful freedom experienced in a Yoga class, practiced in a Yoga class. When we let go of the way we think a shape/pose/posture should look we give ourselves the opportunity to enjoy, to embrace, the way the shape/pose/posture actually feels in our body. We can tune into the reality of sensations and let our thinking mind rest for a bit. It is then that we are in our practice of Yoga. It is then that we are out of our head and in the moment: present, free.
 
I also love the title of this book: The Gift of Imperfection. Smiling!
 

Sehatu Sleep Yoga Warriors...do not be afraid!

“Rejoicing in the ordinary things is not simple or trite. It actually takes guts. Each time we drop our complaints and allow everyday good fortune to inspire us, we enter the warrior's world.” Pema Chodron

I never fully know why I choose one particular quote verses another to leave at the end of students' mats after one of my classes. Except, it is often something I feel for myself or want to remember for myself a certain day and figure... because we are all the same... it might strike a similar chord for someone else. If not today, then maybe, on just the right day this little quote, this little slip of paper, will appear.

I realize today's quote by Pema Chodron was especially meaningful because we had so many “first time ever practicing Yoga” students in the Sehatu Sleep studio. New Yoga Warriors giving themselves ninety minutes of union with self and some self-care on a beautiful summer morning.

I will never forget what guts it took for me to get up the courage to enter my first Yoga class. And, I guess, all my “complaints” were about myself and the way I thought I had to be, or the thoughts about the way I was not that prevented an earlier Yoga journey. I thought I had to know Yoga “stuff” like how to do all the moves, etc. So, I waited until I had done Yoga tapes on my VCR at home and read a Yoga flip book that showed a practice. I fully realize, even though I had several Yoga studios in the area where I grew up, I was afraid. Afraid, I guess, to do something “wrong”...who knows, it is hard to understand fears that are really just thoughts.

So,I started my own Yoga journey much later at a gym and then took, what I perceived as, another big step and entered a Yoga studio. As I am certain today's students found, and, as I know I found in my first class: I did not need to know any “stuff”, I am enough just as I am today, and there is nothing scary about a Yoga studio, nothing scary at all. They are actually quite welcoming and sweet. And, it is their job and their purpose to share with you how you might do Yoga stuff. Rejoice.

(I do still hold a little wish I had started practicing Yoga earlier and entered the Warrior's World of Yoga in community back in the day. Even though I know, as Yoga has taught me, whatever day you do choose, is the perfect day for you!)

Congratulations Sehatu Sleep Yoga students...you are Warriors.

Which one works best for insomnia: Ambien, Lunesta, Sonata ..... or a golf club?

 

 

"There is no difference between taking a sleeping pill or asking someone to club you on the head"

The inability to fall or stay asleep, or waking up too early and then feeling the effects of sleep deprivation is commonly termed insomnia. The cost of insomnia to the US economy is estimated at over $35 billion each year. There are many types and many causes of insomnia. The commonest problem by far, is a state of mind called "hyper arousal" in which the person feels their mind continues to work and be active, even if they are not worried about anything. The problem tends to run in families, affects millions of people and affects smart people more, should that be consolation to some.

Since doctors have few tools to work with besides medicine, they tend to offer their patients the least addictive of the sleeping pills they know of, but end up in a wild goose chase of changing doses, managing side effects and development of tolerance to the sleep inducing effects. The pharmaceutical industry has also found insomnia therapy to be a major money maker. Ambien, also known by its generic name Zolpidem is one of the most commonly prescribed sleeping pills. The ever present Lunesta commercial on TV has inspired many comedy show spoofs. Trazodone has been used for many years. Ativan, Valium, Seroquel, Risperdal, Restoril; there are so many . Never mind the dozens of so called "natural" remedies, supplements (a chemical is a chemical, call it natural or pharmaceutical), gadgets, even iphone apps. None of these however address the issue of hyper arousal of the mind or do so ineffectively over the long term.

Research has shown over and over that sleeping pills i.e. "clubbing your head", works for short periods of time only. Cognitive behavior therapy, relaxation training, stress management techniques including yoga and meditation work better, and work long term. The problem so far has been that trained therapists are hard to find and even harder to make health insurance companies pay for it.

Uniquely, Sehatu Sleep, a small start up company in Northern California, has taken up this challenge. They offer on site and online, "Deep Relaxation Training" to empower insomniacs, to calm their minds and get restful sleep. No chemicals, no gadgets, no gimmicks. This, is what we need, not clubs on our heads!