life

Bring it on, Life, But Only If I am Rested and Relaxed!

I have had some interesting experiences this summer. It has been a busy, exciting, disturbing, hectic, troubling and inspiring summer. I went skydiving (for the third time) with my wife and son. Exciting. Our son was in a car accident, totaling the long time family vehicle. Scary. Our long time dearly loved family dog of ten years died abruptly. Disturbing. You probably get an idea of the wide variety of these experiences. You may identify with some of them too.

Rather than going into the minor details, my goal is to point out how experiences shape our lives. What life throws our way is not in our control. How hot the weather will be today or how bad the traffic will be on the way home from work are things beyond our individual control.

How we deal with what is thrown our way is critical. It also depends on what frame of mind we are in. Well rested, emotionally secure people will be able to deal with a lot of stressful events and deal with them differently than others. Suffering already from over work and stress, leading to lack of good quality sleep, many of us are left with little emotional capacity to take any more trouble and deal with it adequately.

There are people in this world who have to walk long distances for drinking water and wonder each morning if they will find the one meal for that day. There are people who have been through genocides, massacres, famines, floods, epidemics and all kinds of mass miseries inflicted on them by other people and by nature. Are they all emotionally exhausted, mentally paralyzed, unable to function, survive, move forward and build their lives? May be some, but not all.

On the other hand, there are people with every imaginable luxury of life, who would give anything to be able to take a nap, like Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston who gave their lives trying to obtain a few moments of forced, chemically induced rest for their minds.

What is the difference? The difference is in genetics, brain wiring, cultures, environment and upbringing. Given all else being equal, those of us who find themselves unable to feel emotionally secure, able to let go, calm their minds, rest and recharge to face the inflictions of everyday life, need to learn these skills. If it does not come naturally, it has to be learnt. Like a child learns to walk naturally, but has to be taught how to ride a bicycle.

It is the job of those who are in the position of helping others, to assist them in this journey. It is also the job of those who are looking for help, grasping for straws, to seek out this help. It is available. It is here. We do it every day at Sehatu Sleep and Yoga Studio.

Go, get it, wherever you can. It will make life better, easier and more fun for all.

 

 

On Life, Death, Health and Sleep

I have had a few enlightening encounters with my patients in the last few weeks. Recently, one of my patient's wife made an intense comment: "He gasps and chokes in sleep. I can't let him die like this! Two of my family members passed away in the last few years and I could not save them. I can't let it happen again!!" This led to a discussion. Another young patient in his 70's said to me today he probably has five to ten more years to live considering how sickly he is. This led to another discussion. A third patient said: "I know I have neglected myself and my family for the last several years. I have been spending all my time at work. I now want to switch my life around."

I just want to share a few of my thoughts from these encounters.

We all know we did not choose whether, when, and where to arrive in this world and won't choose the time of our death either. This fact however gets lost on us while we struggle in our lives to go to school, learn, have jobs and families, in the process developing a false sense of control over ours and our loved ones' lives.

Its not about how long we live. Its how we live. A healthy, useful, long life. A productive, loving life. The duration does count, but the quality does lots more.

While death is certain for every living organism, a realization of this absolute fact makes the job of making the best of every second, minute, hour and day of life even more significant.

Given good health care and a balanced lifestyle, people should be able to live happily way past 100 years. To have a fatalistic attitude towards life as one gets older prevents the person from enjoying every day of life that they still do have.

Its not about choosing between work and family. Its about finding a balance.

We can not hang on to those we love. We have to let go of them in order to love them.

The need to control.... a quality shared by many smart, intellectually gifted people is most often a major factor in them feeling unable to relax, let go, fall and stay asleep. This is a sign of loss of that delicate balance in life that is necessary for health, wellness and happiness.

This is exactly why we need to work hard towards restoring that balance, learning to control and let go, learning to live and die, by retraining our minds.

We need to learn to Relax, Sleep better and Perform at our best, for a healthy, longer, happier, more fulfilling life.